Now that I live in a college town, when a restaurant has a 20-minute wait or my wife and I are strolling through campus, I can pop in a merchandise store and check out all the officially-licensed items my heart desires. I’d been in these stores plenty before, but visiting several times over the last few weeks, I realized how devoted a University of Michigan sports fan could be.* You could…
*This goes for Notre Dame or Alabama or Texas or any other big time college sports program. But I live in Ann Arbor.
…wake up to a Michigan football alarm clock, brush your teeth with a Michigan toothbrush (removed from a Michigan toothbrush holder), and shower behind a Michigan shower curtain (that is held up by Michigan shower curtain rings, of course). Dry yourself with a Michigan bath towel.
You could dress in all-Michigan attire, head to toe. For the sake of brevity, know there’s no piece of clothing or accessory that can’t come stamped with a block M, including cuff-links, a tie clip, and earrings.
Your car has a Michigan license plate in the front; the rear plate has a Michigan cover. The screws that keep both in place are covered with block Ms. Your tires have Michigan valve stem caps. Step inside the vehicle: there are Michigan fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror; the steering wheel has a Michigan cover.
Arrive at your office. Whether you’re using a phone, tablet, or laptop, the device can have a Michigan cover. You can type on a full Michigan keyboard or get a mini block M sticker to place over the letter. Your Michigan mouse can scoot across a Michigan mouse pad. Writing by hand? You can have a Michigan notepad and a Michigan pen that sings The Victors.
Return home and wipe your feet on your Michigan doormat (though the stores in East Lansing or Columbus might have a better selection). It’s dinner time, and you can keep your drink cold with block M ice cubes. Even if you don’t own a Michigan grill, you can at least use a Michigan spatula.
Fall asleep, and dream of Michigan winning a national championship. It’s the one thing you can’t buy.