New York Mets Opening Day Haikus

Mike Baxter
Crashing into fence
Saving what really mattered:
Our first no hitter

Lucas Duda
Is it really true:
Our most proven outfielder?
No, it’s Marlon Byrd

Marlon Byrd
This is his sixth team
Last year he took some steroids
They did not work good

Kirk Nieuwenhuis
Name always spelled wrong
He had a really good start…
Remember that start?

Daniel Murphy
Dropkick Murphys play
His position is hitter
Don’t stick him in left

Ruben Tejada
Looks like he’s 15
Rhyme: Hakuna Matata
Bright future; don’t trade!

Ike Davis
Lay off the low curve
Ankle sprain kept him out months
Watch out, Pepsi Porch

David Wright
“Good kid, not a star”
Wilpon paid him anyway
And he deserves it

John Buck
Hold down position
Until the kid is ready
Hit a dinger please

Jon Niese
Beltran paid for nose
Born on an Amazin’ day
Contract a win-win

Matt Harvey
Nolan Ryan clone
Except we won’t trade this one
We probably will

Johan Santana
Thanks for coming here
We’ll always have the no-no
You deserved better

Shaun Marcum
Discover Queens, Shaun!
You will only have one year
The World’s Fair was here!

Dillon Gee
What is on your chin?
If he’s your fifth, that’s OK
Crafty like Rick Reed

Bobby Parnell
Gun shows 100
Can’t measure between the ears
Or inside the heart

Frank Francisco
Ninja turtle face
Has not punched father-in-law
Will he be needed?

Jordany Valdespin
“I’m the man right now!”
Too naive to be nervous
Pinch hit home run king

Zack Wheeler
Enjoy Buffalo
We will probably rush him
I still miss Beltran

LaTroy Hawkins
What is he, 40?
I checked Wikipedia
God, he is 40

Travis d’Arnaud
See you in May, kid
At least nobody will ask:
Can he catch Dickey?

Terry Collins
Did he cry today?
Fiery, feisty, likes bunts
Admire his white hair

Sandy Alderson
Twitter budget jokes
Godfather of Moneyball
Buddy: handsome dog

Jeff Wilpon
No talent meddler
College is not for all kids:
He could have used some

Fred Wilpon
Bernie took his loot
May have murdered Doubleday
Looks like cryptkeeper

Citi Field
Museum for Dodgers
This poet is nostalgic
Maybe winning cures

Shea Stadium
Walk the endless ramps
The explosion of green grass
Look, kids, The Apple!

Mr. Met
Hero for all times
He will never break our trust
What is his first name?

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